Understanding Grief and Self-Care
Grief is a normal and multifaceted response to loss. While grief can often feel overwhelming, it is a natural emotional process that allows us to realize and (eventually) accept the loss of someone or something dear to us.
Everyone grieves differently, and your reaction to loss will be as individual as you are. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve, and no timeline for when you should feel “better.” The most important thing is to honor your emotions and connect with someone who can listen. Suppressing or ignoring feelings often prolongs the grief process.
Grief can affect us emotionally, physically, and cognitively. Below are some common grief responses:
Emotional Responses
- Shock and disbelief: Feeling numb or like you are in a dream, especially after sudden loss.
- Sadness or depression: A deep sense of emptiness or sorrow.
- Guilt: Regret over things unsaid or undone.
- Anger or irritability: Directed at anyone, including yourself, others, or the situation.
- Fear: Worry about your ability to handle emotions or fear about mortality.
- Mood swings: Emotions may arise unexpectedly, which is a natural part of grieving.
Physical Responses
- Common physical reactions include fatigue, nausea, insomnia, changes in appetite, and physical aches or pains.
Cognitive Responses
- Confusion, forgetfulness, trouble concentrating, or experiencing bad dreams.
Positive Coping Strategies
- Give yourself time to grieve and acknowledge the loss.
- Talk to understanding and compassionate people about your feelings.
- Avoid individuals who minimize your grief or pressure you to "move on."
- Take care of yourself: express your needs, adjust plans, and prioritize self-care.
- Express your feelings creatively: write in a journal, write letters to the deceased, or create a memorial.
- Be kind to yourself. Grief cannot be "fixed" but responds to self-compassion and attention.
If you feel isolated, overwhelmed, or unable to cope, reach out for support through NOVA's Office of Wellness and Mental Health.
Grief Support Resources
- Capital Caring Health: Telephone support, individual/family counseling, and workshops at 800.856.1348 (Alexandria, Arlington, Falls Church, Merrifield, Washington, DC).
- Vitas Hospice: Literature and grief support resources at 877.921.0695 (Manassas, Vienna, Washington, DC).
- Haven of Northern Virginia: Counseling, workshops, and support groups. Call 703.941.7000 (Annandale).
- Wendt Center for Loss and Healing: Grief counseling and resources at 202.624.0010 (Washington, DC).
- INOVA Life with Cancer: Counseling, education, programs, and support groups at 703.206.5433 (Fairfax).
- The Compassionate Friends: Support after the death of a child.
- AARP Grief and Loss Resources: Support for those grieving the loss of a senior loved one.
- National Widower's Organization: Support for grieving men.
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: Support for survivors of suicide loss.
- GriefShare: Directory of grief support groups near you.
- Grief In Common: Online grief support groups.
- Funeral homes and places of worship often offer grief support resources or can help you locate local support groups.