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| ORIGINAL Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt. |
LITERAL As Gregor Samsa one morning from restless dreams awoke, found he himself in his bed into an enormous vermin transformed. |
You'll note that this
sentence is made up of two clauses, the first ending in a verb, the second
in a past participle -- awoke and transformed.
The two words, in parallel positions, emphasize the subject of the story:
that Gregor Samsa awoke transformed. But translators of The
Metamorphosis never try to reproduce this sentence structure in
English because such a word order is completely unnatural in the English
language. No native English speaker would write it this way:
As
Gregor Samsa one morning from restless dreams awoke, found he himself in
his bed into an enormous vermin transformed.
Instead this wording would normally be used:
As Gregor
Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams he found himself transformed
in his bed into an enormous
vermin.
So, most translations of this sentence end with the word vermin (or bug,
or insect) rather than the word transformed -- not a
monumental difference in meaning, but definitely a change in emphasis from
Kafka's original wording.
Another stylistic problem for Kafka's translators involves sentence length. Most sentences in The Metamorphosis are of normal length; they can be translated from German into English in about the same number of words without creating confusion for the reader. However, in certain key places Kafka intensifies the dramatic effect by creating unusually long and complex sentences. Translating these sentences involves a difficult choice -- translated as one sentence they will be accurate but possibly confusing to read; broken into several sentences, they will be more readable but won't convey the way in which Kafka actually described the situation.
As an example, let's look at a sentence in Part II of the story dealing with the actions of Gregor's sister -- and Gregor's reactions -- after their mother has fainted. Here's how it looks in the original German and in a translation by Stanley Corngold.
| ORIGINAL Sie lief ins Nebenzimmer, um irgend eine Essenz zu holen, mit der sie die Mutter aus ihrer Ohnmacht wecken könnte; Gregor wollte auch helfen -- zur Rettung des Bildes war noch Zeit --; er klebte aber fest an dem Glas und musste sich mit Gewalt losreissen; er lief dann auch ins Nebenzimmer, als könne er der Schwester irgend einen Rat geben wie in fruherer Zeit; musste dann aber untätig hinter ihr stehen; während sie in verschiedenen Flaschchen kramte, erschreckte sie noch, als sie sich umdrehte; eine Flasche fiel auf den Boden und zerbrach; ein Splitter verletzte Gregor im Gesicht, irgend eine atzende Medizin umfloss ihn; Grete nahm nun, ohne sich länger aufzuhalten, soviel Fläschchen, als sie nur halten konnte, und rannte mit ihnen zur Mutter hinein; die Tür schlug sie mit dem Fusse zu. |
STANLEY
CORNGOLD She ran into the next room to get some kind of spirits to revive her mother; Gregor wanted to help too -- there was time to rescue the picture -- but he was stuck to the glass and had to tear himself loose by force; then he too ran into the next room, as if he could give his sister some sort of advice, as in the old days; but then had to stand behind her doing nothing while she rummaged among various little bottles; moreover, when she turned around she was startled, a bottle fell on the floor and broke, a splinter of glass wounded Gregor in the face, some kind of corrosive medicine flowed around him; now without waiting any longer, Grete grabbed as many bottles as she could carry and ran with them inside to her mother; she slammed the door behind her with her foot. |
The original sentence consists of 132 words, an exceptionally long sentence by any standards. Corngold's translation follows the original version quite closely; he translates it as one sentence of 144 words. A sentence of this length is very unusual in English but Corngold's choice was to follow as closely as possible the way Kafka originally wrote the sentence.
Other translators make different choices
when translating Kafka's lengthy sentences. Below you'll see two translators' versions of the same
sentence. As you're reading them, count the number of
sentences in each version.
| STANLEY
APPELBAUM She ran into the adjoining room to fetch some medicine to revive her mother from her faint; Gregor wanted to help, too -- there was still time to rescue the picture -- but he was stuck tight to the glass and had to tear himself loose by force. Then he, too, ran into the adjoining room, as if he could give his sister some advice, as in the past; but he was forced to stand beside her idly. While she was rummaging around various little bottles, she got a fright when she turned around; a bottle fell on the floor and broke; a splinter wounded Gregor in the face, and some kind of corrosive medicine poured over him. Now, without waiting there any longer, Grete picked up as many bottles as she could hold and ran in to her mother with them, slamming the door shut with her foot. |
JOACHIM
NEUGROSCHEL
She ran into the next room to get some sort of essence for reviving the mother from her faint. Gregor also wanted to help (there was time enough to salvage the picture later), but he was stuck fast to the glass and had to wrench himself loose. He then also scurried into the next room as if he could give the sister some kind of advice as in earlier times, but then had to stand idly behind her while she rummaged through an array of vials. Upon spinning around, she was startled by the sight of him. A vial fell on the floor and shattered. A sliver of glass injured Gregor's face, and some corrosive medicine oozed from the sliver. Grete, without further delay, grabbed as many vials as she could hold and dashed over to the mother, slamming the door with her foot. |
You'll note that Appelbaum uses four sentences and Neugroschel uses seven sentences to translate what was originally one sentence. Comparing these translations with Corngold's one-sentence version, we can conclude that the translations using several short sentences are easier to read, less confusing than the one-sentence translation. On the negative side, the multi-sentence translations don't really sound like Kafka; they could have been written by almost any contemporary writer. The one-sentence version is confusing to read, but it's a more accurate reflection of Kafka's writing style -- and the confusion in the sentence structure gives a much better sense of the confusion occurring in the Samsa household.
Which version is the "best"?
It's up to you to decide. If you prefer a translation that's easy to read,
you'll want to choose one that modernizes the writing style and breaks up
the long sentences. But if you prefer to read one that conveys a sense of
the author's writing style, you'll want a translation that follows the
original sentence structures as closely as possible. Many editions of The
Metamorphosis include a brief essay by the translator explaining the
guiding principles of the translation; it's usually a good idea to look
this over before deciding which translation to read.
_________________________________________________________
Before proceeding to the final page of this module on The Metamorphosis, please do the exercise below.
EXERCISE C.
This exercise has
four parts. Please do all parts.
1. In the boxes below, you'll see two translations of a passage in Part
III of The Metamorphosis. The
passage describes Gregor Samsa's thoughts as he's listening to his sister play
the violin. In the original German version, this passage is written as one
sentence.
As you're reading the two translations, count the number of sentences in
each one, and write the numbers below.
| JOACHIM
NEUGROSCHEL He wanted to keep her there and never let her out, at least not in his lifetime. For once, his terrifying shape would be useful to him; he would be at all the doors of his room simultaneously, hissing at the attackers. His sister, however, should remain with him not by force, but of her own free will. She should sit next to him on the settee, leaning down to him and listening to him confide that he had been intent on sending her to the conservatory, and that if the misfortune had not interfered, he would have announced his plan to everyone last Christmas (Christmas was already past, wasn't it?), absolutely refusing to take "no" for an answer. |
WILLA
AND EDWIN MUIR
He would never let her out of his room, at least, not so long as he lived; his frightful appearance would become, for the first time, useful to him; he would watch all the doors of his room and spit at intruders; but his sister should need no constraint, she should stay with him of her own free will; she should sit beside him on the sofa, bend down her ear to him, and hear him confide that he had had the firm intention of sending her to the Conservatorium, and that, but for his mishap, last Christmas -- surely Christmas was long past? -- he would have announced it to everybody without allowing a single objection. |
Number of sentences in translation by Joachim Neugroschel: ____
Number of sentences in
translation by Willa and Edwin Muir _____
2. Now write your own description of a similar type of situation -- a situation involving a series of rapid thoughts and/or actions. You can use a subject like the one in the passage you've just read, or it can be a subject of your own choice. Write your description in one long sentence of at least 100 words (or more). Be sure to include punctuation as you're writing the sentence so your reader will be able to follow what's happening.
Suggestion: If
you're having trouble thinking of a topic, you can start with these
words:
I was driving on the expressway going pretty fast
when suddenly..... [go on to describe a series of events that
occurred in rapid succession].
3. Now rewrite the
same description, but this time break it up into at least three
sentences. As you do this, you'll need to change some of the punctuation and perhaps
some of the wording so that your sentences will make sense.
4. Finally, look over the two descriptions you've just written, the version that is written in one long sentence and the version that consists of three or more sentences. As you're reading each one, try to imagine you're an outside reader who has never read these passages before. Pay attention to how you're reacting to the style in which each one is written -- as one long sentence or a series of shorter sentences. Then answer the following question:
-
Which version do you like best? In other words, which one do you feel is more effective in communicating the sense of what you're describing -- the version written in one sentence or the version in several sentences? Why?
When you've finished the exercise, go to Page 4, the concluding page of this module on The Metamorphosis.
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Works Cited Page |
Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 4 |
comments to: vpoulakis@nvcc.edu
11/11/05