Greek vase with muse

                          TRANSLATION 
      WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

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                      THE DIVINE COMEDY 

                               (Page 3)
       

 SOUND  The final consideration in creating a translation is its sound. As I'm sure you know, the sounds of words, even when they look the same, can differ greatly from one language to another. These differences become especially important when poetry is being translated, since poems (like songs) often convey at least part of their meaning through the sounds of their words. In addition, many poems follow a set meter (a formula involving the number of stressed syllables per line) and rhyme (patterns of words with similar ending sounds) -- two qualities that are very difficult to reproduce when words from one language are being translated into another.

 Dante's Divine Comedy is particularly difficult to translate because it was originally written in a very complicated form called  terza rima (meaning triplet rhyme). Throughout the entire poem, the rhyme scheme involves groups of three lines (called tercets) in which the words at the ends of the first and third lines of each tercet rhyme. The second line of each tercet introduces a different rhyme which then becomes the rhyme used for the first and third lines in the next tercet. The pattern is like an interlocking chain which keeps propelling the poem forward, each tercet connected to the one before by its rhyme scheme. One of the reasons why Dante used this intricate form for The Divine Comedy is that the number three signified for medieval Christians (as it still does for many Christians today) the Holy Trinity -- the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Terza rima thus reflects the subject of the poem, a journey leading from the depths of despair toward a vision of God, manifested at the end of the poem in the form of three concentric circles. 

Terza rima is, however, a very difficult form to use in English translations. This is because it's much easier to find rhymes in Italian than it is in English; Italian words do not have as great a variety of sounds. Nevertheless, some English translators of Dante have managed to use this rhyme scheme in their translations. In the box below you'll see an example from a translation of The Divine Comedy by Dorothy Sayers. (If her name sounds familiar, it's because Sayers was the author of a very popular series of mystery novels in addition to being a classical scholar.) The lines translated are from Canto II, lines 127-135 of the Inferno, in which Dante describes how his courage was renewed after Virgil  told him about the three "blessed ladies" in Heaven who were looking out for him. I've highlighted in different colors the words which rhyme with each other.

               DOROTHY SAYERS

As little flowers, which all the frosty night
Hung pinched and drooping, lift their stalks and fan
Their blossoms out, touched by the warm white light,

So did my fainting powers; and therewith ran
Such good, strong courage round about my heart
That I spoke boldly out like a free man:

"O blessed she that stooped to take my part!
O courteous thou, to obey her true-discerning
Speech, and thus promptly to my rescue start!"
  

But many other translators of Dante's works have chosen not to follow his original rhyme scheme.   Translators find that searching for exact rhymes to end each line can mean sacrificing the even more important considerations of  accuracy and sense. So, they try to find different ways of keeping the basic sound of the original writing without worrying too much about the rhyme scheme. The boxes below illustrate two translators' different solutions, with the rhyming words highlighted in different colors.

                       JOHN CIARDI

As flowerlets drooped and puckered in the
night
turn up to the returning sun and spread
their petals wide on his new warmth and 
light --
just so my wilted spirits rose
again
and such a heat of zeal surged through my veins
that I was born anew. Thus I
began
"Blessed be that Lady of infinite
pity,
and blessed be thy taxed and courteous spirit
 that came so promptly on the word she gave
thee."
        


First and third lines 
rhyme but rhyme is 
not always exact, 
as in again/began.
Middle words don't 
rhyme.

Words at ends of first and third lines have same ending sounds but are not exact rhymes -- dawn/again.

Words at ends of second lines introduce a new end sound which becomes the rhyme of the first and third lines in the next tercet-- 
wake/spoke/quick.

                   ROBERT PINSKY

As flowers bent and shrunken by night at
dawn
Unfold and straighten on their stems, to
wake
Brightened by sunlight, so I grew strong
again --

Good courage coursing through my heart, I
spoke
Like one set free: "How full of true
compassion
Was she who helped me, how courteous and
quick

Were you to follow her bidding -- and your 
narration
Has restored my spirit..."
      
ALLEN MANDELBAUM

   As little flowers, which the chill of night
has bent and huddled, when the white sun strikes,
grow straight and open fully on their stems,
  so did I, too, with my exhausted force;
and such warm daring rushed into my heart
that I -- as one who has been freed -- began:
   "O she, compassionate, who has helped me!
And you who, courteous, obeyed so quickly
the true words that she had addressed to you!



There are no rhymes. The form used is blank verse: unrhymed ten-syllable lines, following a regular rhythm alternating stressed and unstressed syllables. 

All of these choices have advantages and disadvantages. Sayers' translation in terza rima most closely follows the original form of Dante's poem, but at times the need to find a rhyming word leads to choices that lessen the accuracy and sense of her translation. For example, line six of her translation reads, 
              I spoke boldly out like a free man
when the original meaning (as indicated more accurately in Ciardi's and Pinsky's translations) is that Dante suddenly feels free because Virgil's words have overcome his fears. On the other hand, Ciardi's choice -- rhyming the first and third lines of each tercet but without a rhyme for the second word -- means that each tercet stands by itself without providing an interconnection through the second-word rhyme. Pinsky's choice does create this link, but his decision to use similar end sounds rather than exact rhymes diminishes, to some extent, the musical sound of  Dante's poem. Mandelbaum's non-rhyming form  avoids the difficulty of finding accurate rhyming words, but it loses the music of Dante's form and the interconnectedness of the original terza rima. As a reader, you can choose which you prefer -- or perhaps decide, as many readers do, that each is worth reading for its own merits.

Now do the exercise below. This is the last exercise for this unit. When  you've finished, go to Page 4 for a concluding message.  

EXERCISE C. Do either TOPIC 1 or TOPIC 2.

TOPIC 1
Write a six-line (or longer) poem using any one of the forms illustrated above. The subject can be anything you choose -- i.e., it does not need to be related to Dante's Divine Comedy. You can look again at each example by clicking on the names of the translators:
                        DOROTHY SAYERS
                        JOHN CIARDI
                        ROBERT PINSKY
                        ALLEN MANDELBAUM
TOPIC 2
 If you don't want to create a poem, write your own "translation" of the passage quoted above (Canto II, lines 127-135). You can write it either as prose or poetry; it does not need to follow any of the rhyme schemes described on this page.  Try to capture the main idea but don't worry about following it line by line; your aim is to communicate the main feelings to a reader like yourself.


When  you're done, go to
Page 4.

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 comments to: vpoulakis@nvcc.edu

  03/27/05