The Sentence Variety Dialogue Page

VK: I once had a job. . .

Larry: Big deal! I worked once too.

VK: C'mon, give me a break.  I'm trying to make a point here.

Larry: Again with the point! OK, you once had a job.  What job?

VK:  I was writing for a newspaper that was distributed to adults who had very little education.

Larry: Could they read?

VK: Most of them.  Enough of them for me to keep my job.

Larry: Must have been easy, the way you BS.

VK: Well, actually, I had to learn how to write in a simple enough manner to be read, but still make it interesting enough to read.

Larry:   Like a kid's book?

VK:  Sort of, but only with adult subject matter.

Larry: "Adult", huh?  I bet it was interesting!

VK:  Ha-ha.  I had to write within the boundaries set up by the editor.

Larry: Boundaries?

VK:  Yeah. The rule was, "No sentence may be longer than five words, and no word may be more than two syllables."

Larry: Sounds easy!  And you got paid?

VK: Try it sometime. Try writing a story about the history of lima beans while you follow that rule.  It took me a few weeks, but eventually I got the hang of it.

Larry: How?

VK: By making my sentences be different patterns.  Instead of using the kind of simplistic stuff used for kid's books, you know, "See Dick Run.  Run, Dick, run. . ."

Larry: Don't be a dick.

VK:  Well, in my case, I avoided dickness by using varied sentences. " Lima beans have protein. Have vitamins. Families have survived on them."

Larry: Hey! a couple of those words have three syllables.

VK:  Hmmm. So they do.  Sometimes we'd hedge if the word was very common. But I want you to notice the three different forms I used.

Larry: So, what you're saying is if you can write simple sentences you can get a job.

VK:  Arghhhh!  No! What I'm saying is, if you can learn to vary your sentences, you are better equipped to write interesting papers.

Larry: At least about lima beans.

VK: Especially about lima beans!