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LIFE IS CELEBRATED through the marking of major transitions in a person's life. Every such celebration is another opportunity for familiy and friends to gather, to mark the occasion, to eat, to talk:
BIRTH rituals for boys involve ritual circumcision
(called a bris) on the eigth day of life. This is a symbol of the covenant made between God and Abraham and his descendants.
COMING OF AGE rituals involve the Bar Mitzvah at the age of 13 for boys and, for Conservative and Reformed Jews, the Bat Mitzvah for girls of the same age. Bar Mitzvah means "son of the commandments" (Bat means "daughter") and this is when a young person is considered fully responsible for fulfilling the commandments of God set out for Jews in Torah. The young person will prepare for several years for this major turning point in his or her life. They will learn Hebrew so they can take their honor of reading from Torah for the first time before the congregation on the Sabbath closest to their 13th birthday. This reading from Torah, and accompaning speech is the true focus of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. The celebratory party that follows is not the actual Bar Mitzvah. As with all Jewish occasions, Jews celebrate with food, family, and friends.
The very first commandment God gave humans was to "be fruitful and multiply" (Gen. 1:28). A Jewish life is incomplete without a spouse and children. Marriage within the Jewish tradition is a religiously binding legal agreement between husband and wife. The signing of a traditional contractual document (the "ketubah") before the Rabbi and witnesses is followed by a public ceremony before family and friends. The couple is joined by traditional Hebrew vows (that come from the Biblical book, the Song of Solomon) standing under a canopy (the "chuppah") symbolizing the home they will make together. The ceremony concludes as the couple shares a drink of wine from the same glass. Then the groom smashes the wine glass under his foot, symbolizing the destruction of the Hebrew Temple. Even in times of great joy, Jews do not forget that life also brings sorrow. Following the marriage ceremony, family and friends gather for a reception – simple or grand – to celebrate the occasion with food, music, dancing, and much joy! While divorce is certainly frowned upon, there are provisions for it (through the signing of another religiously legal binding agreement called a "get").
DEATH is a part of life and Judaism provides clear guidelines for burial, the grieving process, and annual memorials.
Preparation of the body and burial are done, if possible, within 24 hours. A plain pine box will suffice. There are no fancy, expensive caskets; in death, all are equal before God - both rich and poor. Traditionally the eldest son will recite the "mourner's Kaddish" - a prayer that actually says nothing about death but reminds us that, even in our grief there remains hope for the future.
After the funeral the immediate survivors (parents, children, spouse, siblings) rend their clothing in grief (more commonly, symbolically wearing a torn or cut black ribbon) and "sit shiva" for seven days (not counting the Sabbath). This is the period of deepest mourning when the mourners are not to be left alone in their grief. Once again, family and friends will gather, bring food and chat. Mirrors in the mourner's home are covered (to avoid vanity in this time of grief) and other activities for comfort and pleasure are avoided. A memorial ("Yahrzeit") candle burns for the seven-day period. After this week, the mourners begin to move back into a normal routine and, by the close of 30 days after the funeral, they discard the torn black ribbon as they move on to continue their lives.
A memorial stone is set within 11 months of the death and each year the anniversary of the death is marked in loving remembrance of the lost loved one - recitation of the mourner's Kaddish in Sabbath services during the anniversary week and lighting of a 24 hour Yahrzeit candle.
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