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ARCHETYPE  MIKE'S  STORY

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          Sex on television!  Sex on television!  That’s all people talk about these days.  There’s nothing wrong with a little sex now and then.  That’s how we all got here – right?  More people should be like me.  I do all things in moderation.  This is my erudite parents’ philosophy and this is my philosophy. (My parents are university professors.)  People need to diversify their activities.  They spend too many hours in front of the television, eating too much and getting too fat.   It’s not that there’s too much sex on television. The problem is people spend too many hours watching the lives of the rich and famous, when they should be out enjoying their own lives. 

People would learn a lot if they would adhere to my routine.  I wake up at six a.m., jog or get on the treadmill, shower, eat breakfast, go to work, take a walk after lunch (if it’s a nice day), plan an after-work outing at least two times during the week, participate in sports activities on weekends, and visit friends like Kate and Steve as often as possible.  I eat well-balanced meals, read two newspapers every day and read at least two novels each month.  Who would have time for television if they adopted such a salutary lifestyle as mine?  My life is the kind they watch on television everyday.  The guys and chicks on Baywatch, American Idol or any of the reality shows live like I do.  Couch potatoes can have our exciting lifestyles if they would throw the pizza away and put down the remote.

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