Thursday, October 16, 2008

Granite countertop caption contest

At the end of every issue, The New Yorker runs a cartoon caption contest. Readers write in with captions they think would be funny. Here's a cartoon I just drew and submitted for the December issue of EARTH, only to learn that they weren't featuring granite countertops in that issue after all (because they already ran a story on that topic in the current issue.)

So here's my challenge for you: Come up with a caption for this cartoon. I'll post the three captions I came up with after 24 hours or so.

Have fun. The geo-geekier, the better... Here's the cartoon:

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Blogger Graham said...

You see, Mrs. K, parents can never be too careful when it comes to their daughters.

October 16, 2008 6:41 PM  
Blogger Lockwood said...

Ma'am, you have to understand, this is an alkali granite. Do the words "potassium forty" mean nothing to you, ma'am?

October 16, 2008 8:37 PM  
Blogger Silver Fox said...

That last one made *me* laugh!

October 16, 2008 8:47 PM  
Blogger Callan Bentley said...

I love Lockwood's answer. That's perfect!

Here's what I had come up with:

(1) "Of course it's safe."

(2) "Yeah, but this is an Archean granite… it’s far less radiogenic than yout typical Phanerozoic granite.”

(3) “You can’t take countertop safety for granite.”

Lockwood wins! Lockwood, if you want a "GEOLOGY ROCKS" bumper sticker, e-mail me your mailing address, and I'll pop one in the mail...

October 17, 2008 5:45 PM  
Blogger Lockwood said...

Aw, shucks. Thanks Folks!

October 17, 2008 6:02 PM  
Blogger Lockwood said...

Here are a couple of others that occurred to me:

Ummm... no... You only need to be careful when you're installing it.

Now, while the utility savings from cooking on 'hot' granite are substantial, there are a few elementary precautions you'll need to take.

October 17, 2008 6:20 PM  
Blogger Silver Fox said...

Now I know where to come for funny captions - they're all great!

October 18, 2008 11:40 AM  
Anonymous Carolyn Gramling said...

Hi Callan! We're bummed that we couldn't use your cartoon ... but once Cassie pointed it out to me, I went ahead and posted a link to your blog from the granite story's vidcast (

We love the cartoons! Keep up the great work.

October 20, 2008 11:50 AM  
Blogger Callan Bentley said...

Thanks Carolyn!

Here's the direct link to the story she mentioned.

October 20, 2008 12:13 PM  

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