And Others

The dialogue of the human family.

Every person brings to it, the sum of all the factors in their life's experience.
It creates their perception and influences the way that they communicate.

I've heard jazz musicians say, "You play pretty good for a white boy."

After learning about Malcolm X in class, a white student says to a black student, “Malcolm X was quite a guy. You must be very proud of him.”

Perceiving the Self

Our perceptions of others are subjective because they are based on our own understanding, our own experiences. Therefore, let's look inward and explore our own self-perceptions.

Self-concept
A set of relatively stable perceptions that each of us holds about ourselves;
what makes us unique and different from others. It is our mental mirror of ourselves. How do you define yourself?Your moods or feelings
Your appearance
Talents
Intellect
Politics
ReligionTogether, these form our self-esteem; our evaluations of self-worth.

Self-esteem has a powerful effect on the way we communicate.


Communication and Development of the Self

The point of understanding our self-concept is that it was and is developed through communication with others.Regarding the association between self-concept and communication, Dr. Arthur Combs stated, "We learn the most significant and fundamental facts about ourselves from "reflected appraisals," images of ourselves the we develop from the way we think others view us.Some studies have shown that some women who watch TV develop images of what ideal women look like. These distortions can lead to serious problems such as anorexia nervosa ...Studies have proven that men have a higher incidence of heart attack. Researchers suspect that the pressure of societal demands created that medical situation.Significant Others: the people whose opinions really matter to us: teachers, a special friend, someone you respect. But their influence is less powerful as we grow older.

In some areas, we distort our evaluations of what we hear from others to fit what we think.

Culture and Self-conceptLanguage is the most obvious feature of a culture. But when you are surrounded by others whose mother tongue is different, suddenly, you don't feel so normal. The sense of being in the "out" group is strong. The normal reactions go in one of two ways: pressure or refusal to assimilate. This has been a major theme in novels, and films. Some cultures are mor individualistic such as the western democracies. Some cultures are more collective such as Asian cultures. The difference? In collective cultures, members gain identity from membership in the group. The need to conform creates a higher degree of communication apprehension. Asians have more anxiety about speaking than do Europeans or Americans. "Western culture - "I gotta be Me"

Asian culture - "If I hurt you, I hurt myself."

The Self-Concept, Personality and CommunicationSelf-concept is an internal image. Personality is the external image.But the term is oversimplified. Personality is more than a conglomeration of traits.You might be argumentative at home, but wouldn't be in front of a traffic judge. You may be easygoing with our friends and a fanatic at work. You need the larger repertoire to have an array of choices.

The communication repertoire is an important ingredient in communication competence.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

a person's expectation of an outcome makes the outcome more likely to occur.