Perceiving Others

Perceiving Others Perceiving the Self

If you woke up as Brad Pitt or Beyonce Knowles, how would your world change? Your perceptions would change because of your personal, social and even your physical status.

Narrative & Perception

Narratives are personal stories that we create to make sense of our personal world.

What we say, the narrative we give to describe an event, defines it, and once defined, we begin to look for reinforcement of our ideas, taking mental score. They give us an explanation for behavior, which can lead to stereotyping.

Examples:

Colleagues that habitually take late lunches or arrive late.
When the boss pays attention to a young woman in the office.

It is the narrative created about events that defines those events such as differential treatment. Once defined, we tend to seek out reinforcement for those ideas. You think he's lazy? You'll look for it. You think she's arrogant? You'll look for it.You think your teacher is unfair. You'll look for it. So, we don't decide things on our own. The collective narratives define our perceptions. Does this explain mob psychology?

This can work with positive reinforcement. Happy couples have different narratives, but they tell others that they have a happy marriage. Long-term happy marriages tend to blame outside forces for conflict. They shared a common narrative. But

Different narratives create communication problems.

Many factors help us to create narratives: Common Perceptual Tendencies

We often judge ourselves more charitably

than we judge others: Self-serving bias

Ex.)

If a student grade is an "F," the teacher gave him an "F",
but if the grade is an "A," the student earned an "A"

If someone gets angry, he's a hothead.

If he blows off steam, he's been under too much pressure.

Sour grapes - really trying to convince ourselves that we have a positive face

 

reality: a student earns their grade

 

 

Anger is a normal response.

 

We are influenced by what is most obvious 
(Loud music, brightly or oddly dressed)

 

intense

repititious

contrastive

personal motives

The loudest in the fight may not have started it. The "goth" dresser may be more compassionate than the Bible carrier.

 

Nervous laughter or persistent people

overly happy or grumpy

late, hungry, looking for love

But the most noticeable behavior is not always the most important

We cling to first impressions, even if they are wrong  

labeling people is needed for reference

What if the label is innacurate or someone changes? If you treat someone as if they aren't worth your time, they may react to the suspicion

We tend to assume that others are similar to us 

Low versus high self-esteem

 

In anger, you said some awful things.

Enter abusive relationships?

Just because you like raunchy jokes, doesn't mean you can't offend someone with them.

In the same situation, you'd end the relationship and so avoid contact with the person whom you offended.

We tend to favor negative impressions over positive ones. Mistakes are magnified in celebrities.  
We blame innocent victims for their misfortunes If a person is homeless , it is because they are lazy. Plenty of industrious people, even decorated vets become homeless.
That speaker will point to himself and say that he works
hard and contributes his fair share of taxes.

 

Our harsh opinions of others can lead to judgmental messages that can create communication fiascoes.

Situational Factors Influencing Perception

Relational Satisfaction - If you are in a good relationship, you may admire your partner's behavior. That same opinion changes when the relationship sours.

Degree of Involvement - we may view our partners through "rose-colored" glasses. Researchers set a group of men to judge the performance of a group of women. The men judged women more favorably when they were promised a date with those women.

Past experience - we shy away from circumstances that have burned us before.

Expectations - Anticipation shapes our interpretations. Do you think that your boss disapproves of you? If so, how do you react when the boss calls you into her office?

Social Roles
  Worker Professor Surgeon

Our perception of social roles influences our perceptions.

Knowledge - You treat someone who acts aloof differently if you know that he/she has just been jilted.

Self-Concept - The way we feel about ourselves influences how we interpret messages.

Opposing emotions change influence our perceptions. i.e., happy or sad, insecure or secure.

Perception and Culture

game versus game

Members within the same culture have a difficult time with perceptual differences. That is heighten by cultural differences.

Even how we view talking is different. North Americans value straightforwardness and honesty. Asian cultures value silence such in nyepi. On Nyepi Day, the Hindus stay at home, but they are not supposed to listen to the radio, watch TV, speak to each other, answer telephones, or take in guests. On Nyepi eve, the Balinese make effigies of monstors to symbolize that they will get rid of evil life, to cleanse themselves, eventheir possessions in preparation for the New Year. While the Judeo-Chrisitan culture does not give special recognition to silence, they do refer to it in a special psalm.

What does eye contact mean in your culture?

How about western medical care versus shamanistic healers?

Researchers have found that even geography effects our communication. People who live in the southern latitudes of the US were more socially isolated, had higher self-esteerm, were more likely to verbalize their thoughts and feelings and more likely to touch others.

Empathy and Perception

With all of the factors that can create communication problems, empathy is one skill that can help us to improve our communicaton skills.

Empathy is the ability to recreate another person's perspective, to experience the world from the other's point of view.

 

Three Dimensions of Empathy
Perspective Taking
the ability to take on the viewpoint of another

Suspend your own judgement

positve method of handling interpretations

Emotional

experience the feelings of others, i.e.,

fear, sadness, joy ...

 
Concern
develop a care for their well being goes beyond thinking and feeling

 

Sympathy & Empathy

Sympathy allows us to feel compassion for another's predicament. Empathy allows us to get a sense of what they feel

 

High Self-Esteem Low Self-esteem
More willing to communicate Likely to be critical of others
Aren't afraid of others' reactions. Expect rejection from others
Work harder for people who demand
high standards of performance
Sensitive to disapproval
More comfortable defending themselves Perform poorly when being watched
  Find it difficult to defend themselves

Perceiving the Self


Nature | Perception  | Languages |Listening | Modalities

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