Improving Interpersonal Relationships Relationship climates begin to develop that moment we communicate anything. Is it a positive or negative climate? We first have to recognize what needs improvement. Communication Climates There are three basic types of confirming messages most likely to create positive climates.
There are messages that deny the value of others - disconfirming responses. They show a lack of regard either by disputing or ignoring some important part of that person and most likely to create negative climates.
Disconfirming messages are a matter of perception. Speakers are likely to downplay their significance, but the devaluing message can be most painful. Many nonverbal messages are climateshaping: smiles, eye contact, tone of voice, distance ...The very act of approaching someone is confirming. Likewise avoidance is dissing. Once formed, climates are self-perpetuating spirals. Positive spirals - a confirming message from one person leads to confirming message from the other. Conciliatory statements are likely to get conciliatory responses. Confrontational acts (criticism, hostility) were likely to trigger aggressive responses. Avoidance begets avoidance. Analysis begets analysis .... Escalatory conflict spirals are visible reactions to disconfirming messages. Deescalatory conflict sprials are avoidance, the parties lessen their dependence on each other, withdraw.
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